Favre Throws More Interceptions So that Must Mean the NFL is Back!

The Monday morning quarterback is back. I’m sure many spent their Sunday like me watching football from the first kickoff in the afternoon till the final whistle at night. Your team may have lost. They may have won. Some people lost money. Some won money. No matter, everyone is excited that the NFL is back to complete the weekend. Here are somethings you may have wondered on Sunday.

Who won the 1st week of the Reggie Bush vs. Mario Williams debate?

It was about as lopsided as hotdog eating contest between Nicole Richie and Kobyashi. Now if they were doing lines of cocaine, Richie might win by a nose.

Mario Williams had three tackles and made no impact on defense in a loss to the Eagles. The Texans managed only 70 yards rushing. Reggie finished with 141 total yards and a victory. The only thing he didn’t do was score but that’s just a matter of time. Bush will be on the minds of defensive coordinators all season as he continues to find ways to get the ball. Mario Williams will get doubled teamed and become quickly forgotten as the Texans look to have another long losing season.

Which quarterbacks were bad enough for Trimuph the Insult Comic dog to poop on?

All these players were clear starters coming into the season and after one disgusting performance, the chatter of benching them is inevitable

Chris Simms (0 TDs and 3 INTs), Jake Plummer (See Simms), Drew Bledsoe (3 INTS), and Brett Favre (2 INTs). Their teams lost and they were a big reason why. Their errant passes killed drives, screwed many fantasy football teams and emptied pockets for sports bettors. If you're thinking about betting on them repeat this sentence over and over again “I will not bet money if ________ is the starting quarterback.”

Who was my player of the day?

The video game version of Michael Vick transformed itself into real life. Carolina had their way with the Falcons twice last season with Vick looking like a fool. Yesterday Vick was mobile out of the pocket rolling out in bootlegs and sometime running option plays successfully. He had help with Warrick Dunn running for over 100 yards but Vick controlled that offense. A close second was McNabb who made Eagle fans say “T.O who?”. But Vick did it against the Panthers’ defense on the road.

Which team looked surprisingly good?

Baltimore went on the road with a new quarterback and just manhandled Tampa Bay. The Ravens defense woke up after a couple years of migration. It’s humiliating enough to be shutout at home on opening day. It’s even more so when you were expected to win.

Who do I feel bad for?

Clearly all our thoughts go to Trent Green who took a vicious hit to the head, which could be a cheap hit or a legal hit depending on your view. X-rays came back negative, which is great, but this is not something aspirin will make better.

Did Chad Johnson do anything wild and crazy?

The most crazy thing about Chad today was that he did nothing. He had a quiet day and didn’t score a touchdown so he has no chance of being fined.

How did Terrell Owens do in week 1?

He did surprisingly well. Even though Drew Bledsoe threw three interceptions and remembered he’s a horrible quarterback, there were no temper tantrums on the sideline. He played like a good teammate. He blocked downfield on runs. He was a catalyst for all three of Dallas’ scoring drives. It’s too early to call him a saint but he performed admirably in week one.

Finally Bill Parcells....

Man boobs...gross.

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