Skipping Science Class would cost you $20. Joey Cheek Loves Daisy Dukes. American Idol Rocks the Olympics...

- Not so brilliant populate this world. A former Escambia County middle school gym teacher allegedly charged students a $1 day bribe to skip gym class turned himself in on Thursday. The official charges accuse Ward of taking about $230 from six students pursuing charges, but Braxton's actual take from the 250 sixth-to-eighth-grade boys and girls is likely much greater. The money must have been from lunch money, so the kids ate less junk during lunch and didn't gain weight? We want our kids healthy right? So what's the problem. Oh yeah he bribed money from kids. I know when I was in school I would have paid $20 easily everyday to skip science class.

- Joey Cheek, the man who donated his $25,000 winnings to the Sudan, won the gold medal in the 500m due to a little secret. He said he watched the movie "The Dukes of Hazzard" before he raced Monday. Maybe Joey subscribed to the abstinence theory and watching Jessica Simpson in Daisy Dukes had him running through walls by then. He said, "I've never skated races that well before."

In related news, US Figure Skater Johnny Weir heard Joey's secret and rented any movie with Brad Pitts with his shirt off. (A "Brokeback Mountain" joke would have been too easy here)

- Finally the Olympics are getting pounded every night when going against American Idol. 27 million vs 16.1 million on Tuesday. Millions of fans would rather watch bad singing than non surprising results in the Olympics. American Idol even beat men's figure skating, usually a sure ratings winner. With an Olympics with no big names, and the big names faltering (Bode Miller, Jeremy Bloom, Apollo Ono, and Michelle Kwan), most would rather watch the singers who they can root for the next few months. It doesn't help either that by the time the Olympic telecast at night you can go on the internet or watch television and know the winners. American Idol keeps the suspense till the very end to see who gets cut.

The big heavyweight showdown will next week when the Godzilla ratings event of the Winter Olympics, women's figure skating, goes up against American Idol. Both targets the 18-49 female demographic. I predict an American Idol victory.

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