God bless the USA!

by George Washington

2007/11/24 at 2:15 pm

Anyone who reads through the above posts would be left with the impression that Americans do nothing all day except sit around and complain about soccer.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

In reality, the vast majority of native-born American citizens don’t give a flying fuck about the sport. And, they never will.

It is unquestionably a painfully boring sport, on a par (no pun intended) with golf. And, unlike the equally boring sport of baseball, it is a sport with no heritage whatsoever in this country. Furthermore, it is a sport that is played just as deftly by third-graders as by grown men.

The true explanation for American disinterest, though, is the fact soccer only rarely rewards the efforts of its players. A soccer game is basically a 90 minute volley, peppered with occasional goals that are as much a product of luck as they are of skill.

Such a concept of working for little or no reward is apparently acceptable to citizens of socialist and near-socialist nations. But, it will never fly in the USA, where we place great value on hard work and expect to achieve benefits proportionate to our efforts.

Again, the bottom line is that Americans do not care about this game of European and third world countries. They do not care about how many other human beings love the game. They do not care if the US team gets into the World Cup.

In fact, most American citizens don’t even know that the World Cup had been held in the USA. And, again, they don’t give a fat rat’s ass.

God bless the USA!