I still can’t get enough of Lindsey Jacobellis and her stumble for the silver medal. I just like to see the dumbest move in the 2006 Winter Olympics over and over again. Call me sick if you want.

Luckily snowboard cross isn’t a team sport so she didn’t lose it for a whole team. She did this all herself. As much as she tries to put a “glass half full” mentality by saying she’s happy with the silver medal, that makes me like her even less. Just say you wanted to make the cover of SI instead of saying you were trying to stablize yourself in the air. She says she’s happy because she’s the first silver medalist in snowboard cross ever. Well she’ll be more remembered for how she got that silver medal. You’ve made your legacy as a textbook example for all future athletes to don’ t do anything stupid until you cross that finish line.

Let’s play a game of “What if”. Imagine if Leon Lett had run back the fumble against the Buffalo Bills in Super Bowl XXVII with :01 seconds left on the clock. Dallas losing by six points to Buffalo. Touchdown and the extra point wins the game. He starts to showboat before he gets in the endzone and Don Bebe strips the ball at the one yard line and Buffalo wins the Super Bowl. All because Leon Lett celebrated too early. Painful.

It happened today in the Olympics.

Lindsey Jacobellis came into the Olympics as one of the best-known Americans, a poster child for her sport, snowboard cross. It’s a mix of snowboarding and roller derby. She was cruising to an easy victory when she decided to get fancy on the next to last jump. As she went up in the air she decided to grab her board, presumably to do a little showboating for the US fans in the stands. When she came down, her board caught an edge, and she fell down. Switzerland’s Tanja Frieden sped past and became the first champion in the strange and wild sport of Olympic women’s snowboard cross Friday.

Lindsey was comfortably ahead of Tanja and the rest of the field was way behind them because they had crashed earlier. From reports (since the event hasn’t been shown yet) she could have crawled to the finish line. That’s how far ahead she was of her competition.

She insists she wasn’t showing off.

“When you grab in boardercross you’re trying to get back on the ground as fast as possible,” she said. “You try to be stable in the air.”

Considering how far ahead she was, I just don’t buy it. Just so you know very few men did that yesterday. The Men’s snowboard cross gold medalist, Seth Westcott from the USA, tells the truth.

“Sometimes it’s subconscious, but that was putting on a show,” Wescott said. “It’s one of those things. I did it in my early rides yesterday but you’ve got to choose your time and make sure you don’t miss.”

If you have no idea who Lindsey Jacobellis is you probably have seen her before. Remember that VISA check card commercial where the coach is calming down his athlete before a race? He tells her to picture the mountain and imagining herself on the medal stand all to no avail. Then he tells her to imagine her VISA check card just got stolen. She turns on a smile and now she’s ready to race.

If this isn’t a reason to watch NBC’s coverage of the Olympics tonight then I don’t know what will. You’ll be watching knowing that right at the very last second she’s going to bust and lose gold. I’ll feel bad for her but I gotta see it unfold from the very beginning.

On her bio, her nickname is “Lucky”.

Don’t worry Lindsey, Jeremy Shockey thought you had won too.

(update: Saw the race and it’s worse than you can imagine. Lindsey clearly was showboating in the air. Clear as day.)

Our favorite ambiguously gay male figure skater, Johnny Weir, gave us one great diva like performance last night. One problem though. It happened in the parking lot and not on the ice. He went Ron Artest after the performance but the only thing he threw was a hissy fit.

Johnny tumbled from 2nd place to 5th place after a tentative performance in which he looked tired and skipped portions of his routine. He was so bad even his teammate Evan Lysacek vaulted from 10th to fourth with an emotion-packed performance despite battling the stomach flu the previous two days. Also two skaters who finished ahead of him both fell. Usually falling is the dagger in the heart in figure skating. Johnny didn’t fall but he stunk it up. But of course it wasn’t his fault.

“I never felt comfortable in this building,” Johnny said after dropping from second to fifth. “I didn’t feel my inner peace. I didn’t feel my aura. I was black inside.”

Can you imagine if Tom Brady said this after a game?

Along with it being the buildings fault (where did he want to perform? Outside on a pond?), he blames the bus system for losing his chance at a medal tonight.

He planned to take a bus at 8:30 hoping to arrive at 8:50 for his 10:30 performance. Only that no bus showed up. So he started to run around yelling in English and using a lot of energy. I’ll let Johnny explain it.

“Buses had been coming every 10 minutes all week, but they changed the schedule to every half hour today, I guess,” Johnny said. “I didn’t want to wait until nine o’clock because then I wouldn’t get there until 9:15 or 9:20. Which is what happened anyway. I was yelling at people in English and they only spoke Italian.

“I was swearing. I was calling people and swearing. I was very unprofessional.”

I only wish a film crew jumped out and told him he had just been Punk’d. That would have been the greatest.

Johnny’s coach didn’t even have his back. She didn’t think he was rushed or it was the buses fault. She basically said, “I feel it was a great deal of pressure he’s never dealt with before”. She hit it on the nail. Johnny was skating with two hands around his throat.

Since he has gotten here, Weir has said that he is “very princessy” about his travel accommodations. He prepared for Tuesday’s short program by sleeping for five hours, eating two blood oranges, doing his hair and putting on “my fake face.”

So we say goodbye for now to Johnny Weir. We’ll hear about him again in four years in Vancouver. Hey at least he’s gotten some fame out of the Olympics.

“My best friend e-mailed me and said, ‘You made somebody’s Web site as a D-list celebrity,’” Johnny said. “Great. I’m Kathy Griffin.”

In my opinion you’re slightly above Kathy. At least you’re pretty comical with what you say. Kathy is about as funny as having twelve root canals with no novocaine.

- Not so brilliant populate this world. A former Escambia County middle school gym teacher allegedly charged students a $1 day bribe to skip gym class turned himself in on Thursday. The official charges accuse Ward of taking about $230 from six students pursuing charges, but Braxton’s actual take from the 250 sixth-to-eighth-grade boys and girls is likely much greater. The money must have been from lunch money, so the kids ate less junk during lunch and didn’t gain weight? We want our kids healthy right? So what’s the problem. Oh yeah he bribed money from kids. I know when I was in school I would have paid $20 easily everyday to skip science class.

- Joey Cheek, the man who donated his $25,000 winnings to the Sudan, won the gold medal in the 500m due to a little secret. He said he watched the movie “The Dukes of Hazzard” before he raced Monday. Maybe Joey subscribed to the abstinence theory and watching Jessica Simpson in Daisy Dukes had him running through walls by then. He said, “I’ve never skated races that well before.”

In related news, US Figure Skater Johnny Weir heard Joey’s secret and rented any movie with Brad Pitts with his shirt off. (A “Brokeback Mountain” joke would have been too easy here)

- Finally the Olympics are getting pounded every night when going against American Idol. 27 million vs 16.1 million on Tuesday. Millions of fans would rather watch bad singing than non surprising results in the Olympics. American Idol even beat men’s figure skating, usually a sure ratings winner. With an Olympics with no big names, and the big names faltering (Bode Miller, Jeremy Bloom, Apollo Ono, and Michelle Kwan), most would rather watch the singers who they can root for the next few months. It doesn’t help either that by the time the Olympic telecast at night you can go on the internet or watch television and know the winners. American Idol keeps the suspense till the very end to see who gets cut.

The big heavyweight showdown will next week when the Godzilla ratings event of the Winter Olympics, women’s figure skating, goes up against American Idol. Both targets the 18-49 female demographic. I predict an American Idol victory.

That is just wrong. These are not two athletes from the country of Krispy and Kreme. You’re looking at Matt Lauer and Al Roker from NBC’s Today Show. Don’t know which country the uniforms are from but I’m going to guess Fairyland. They’re trying the two man luge. The idea of a two man luge confuses me. If any sport in the Olympics is Brokeback, it’s this one. Forget men’s figure skating and Johnny Weir in a swan outfit.

But two men on one luge. One man is on bottom. One man is on top. Right on top of the jewels. You get the picture.

We would think the heavier person would be on the bottom of the luge. Who wants the big guy crushing the small guy? So did Matt and Al. However the heavier person is on top. When they realized that, Al just laughed so hard while Matt looked like he was staring down the barrel of a gun aimed by Dick Cheney.

The sight of Al Roker putting his lean, yet still large, body on top of Matt Lauer is just wrong. Luckily the Winter Olympics are only once every four years.

More Winter Olympics Coverage [Sports Pulse]