Sometimes in life, people will tell you it never hurts to ask. However if you’re Britney Spears it’s just wise to not even bother asking the image conscious NFL for some sort of collaboration. She was turned down flatly when her peeps asked the NFL about participating in an all-star NFL Network promo to air during the Feb. 4 football finale. They said she’s too much of a train wreck and they already have Paris Hilton. Damn that’s cold! They’re even trying to recruit manly Janet Reno. Where does she fit in the NFL demographics?

I only hoped the NFL people laughed when they were asked. Shocked at first and then uncontrollable laughter. We’re talking about a woman who married a bum, has questionable child rearing habits, flashed her kibble and bits to the whole world, had to be carried out from a New Year’s eve party at Caesar’s Palace, and looks like that (above). Even the largest fan website devoted to her shutdown because of her recent actions.

What’s gotta hurt even more? He ex-husband is going to star in a Super Bowl ad for Nationwide Mutual Insurance Co. The closest Britney will get to the Super Bowl is some drunken induced state at some club in South Beach. Embarassing pictures sure to come.

If you watched the Saints/Eagles games last week and you blinked, you may have missed the inappropriate shirt that they actually showed on TV. It’s a great shirt but how stupid was FOX for actually showing it on TV?

What scared me anymore was the girl. Am I the only one that thought she was NOT HOT? The hair…yuck. That’s what it looks like when it’s fried from bleaching it too much. The look? From the Britney Spears’ trashy line. Put her, in the same outfit, walking the streets and she would be mistaken for a hooker. Just so many things wrong with her.

Yet the popular men’s magazine Maxim is looking for this girl. They want to do a photo shoot. Does Jenn Sterger have competition? Does Zach at “The Big Picture” have a new crush? Will Sports Illustrated pick her up to write a column? What is the world coming to?

Three out of four games this weekend come down to the last game or last few minutes of the game. It’s really all we want in the playoffs. I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted and I didn’t even move my ass from the couch for most of the day.

This weekend the thought was that the old were overmatched (New England, Indianapolis) and that the new teams (Baltimore, San Diego) would be facing each other in the AFC championship. Hey you play for home field advantage right?? Hey it’s so loud I can’t hear the plays!! So much for that in the AFC.

This is what the Colts needed. When most people doubted them, they end up still winning. When they’re heavy favorites to go to the Super Bowl, they choke. All week we heard Baltimore defense this. Baltimore defense that. There was better defense in the Ray Lewis murder trial. Instead they Colts are playing the best defense thus far in the playoffs. The Colts? Playoffs? Defense? Fourteen points allowed in two games. Manning hasn’t had a great game yet (5 INT’s buddy) but they say defense wins championships. Plus it never hurts to have the most clutch kicker in playoff history.

Playoff experience was key for the Colts and it proved to be why the New England Patriots are in the AFC championship game again. We tried to forget Marty had horrible luck in the playoffs. It’s not just horrible luck. It’s so bad black cats stay away from him. Rumor is he will be fired, even having a season a lot of other teams would dream of. In the end it came down to experience and inexperience. Stupid penalties helped New England keep drives alive. Lots of dropped passes. Lack of experience and lack of discipline. Tom Brady throws a game saving interception. It was that kind of bad luck that haunted San Diego.

In the end, was there any doubt when New England had the ball with 3:30 left in a tied game at their own 15 yard line that Brady wouldn’t lead them to a field goal?? It’s Brady magic. He bottles it up, sprays it on himself before the game, and then afterward he gets to enjoy an orgy with young women.

Count me as still not impressed by Chicago. This Bears defense, who gave up a gobble of points the last month of the season, are still giving up points. If Seattle didn’t have a quarterback that once said “We want the ball and we’re going to score!!” in an OT playoff game only to throw a game ending interception for a touchdown, they might have won.

Okay Grossman didn’t have his worst game ever but he benefited from having the Seahawks secondary so depleted and filled in with rookies. Seattle was the weakest team left coming into this weekend left in the playoffs. So I think it made the Bears look better.

The Saints ARE the feel good story of this playoff. I wouldn’t say that the NFL wants them to win like some think but it would be a great story. Andy Reid did them a huge favor by punting the ball with less than two minutes left in the game and still needing a field goal to tie. A wimpy call if you ask me.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the public are rooting for them against the Bears. Sean Peyton is going to use his arsenal of weapons to expose the Bears defense. It’s going to happen. The Bears aren’t all strong and mighty and if they have not been the past month, one week is not going to supercharge them. I’m pulling for a Saints upset next week. One reason is cause I can’t stand Rex Grossman and his “I played so shitty tonight cause it’s New Year’s Eve” attitude. Also I think if the Bears were in the Super Bowl, it would be a horrible sight to see. Grossman would be the most valuable player on a losing team the first time in history from his four interceptions.

New England vs Indianapolis for the right to go to the Super Bowl is only fitting. If Manning wants the chance at the ring, he’ll have to go through his kryptonite. Awesome. New Orleans vs. Chicago has the top two seeds in a weaker NFC conference. Someone remind Grossman to start making New Year’s Eve plans now. I’ll make a prediction later in the week.

(*For those who don’t know the title, it’s from HBO’s Entourage, which is one of the best and funniest shows on TV)

David Beckham is coming to the United States and the amount of money he’ll be paid is staggering. $1 million a week for just doing that pose (left) over 5 years. Somewhere A-Rod now is screaming he wants a new contract.

Beckham used to be a superstar on the field. He won endless championships with Manchester United. He was the poster boy of England. Then they did not want him anymore so he went to Real Madrid in Spain where they wield an All Star team on the field so wealthy they wipe their asses with $100 bills in the locker room. He’s now more of a superstar off the field. Oh yes and he’s married to Anorexic Spice.

It was thought that Beckham would come to the MLS towards the end of his career. Finish up here after he has some gray hair. After not doing much with Real Madrid and only starting five of 25 games this season, the time came sooner than later. There he was becoming the little fish in a big pond. Now here he is big Shamu in a sea of Little Nemos.

He’s not a Pele when it comes to skill. He’s not the playmaker. He doesn’t have the dazzling footwork of Ronaldinho or flair of a Zidane. He’s a one dimensional player. Beckham will get his assists. He’ll score some free kicks but he won’t single handily dominate a game. An ESPN soccer writer uses a NBA anaolgy and says he’s more Larry Hughes than LeBron James. So why is he here?

He is a walking billboard for the MLS. His pretty boy looks and wash board abs can sell. Sell merchandise, sponsorships, tickets, and extra toppings for the hot dogs. His every move will be followed by press and papparazi. He is loved by women and even more by gay men. He’ll be in every celebrity gossip magazine and that will bring it all back to the LA Galaxy. Instantly the LA Galaxy will be a global brand. Kids on the streets of China and Africa will want his jersey. He’ll hawk some energy drink, shoes, and maybe a car. Already the LA Galaxy has said they have sold 2,000 season tickets. Whoop-dee-doo!

In term of Beckham trying to be a better player by being here, that is not the focus. It’s widely agreed that players need to play in Europe where the training and competition are better. The MLS feels more like junior varsity. In England, they must be laughing over pints of lager that he’s playing in a league that no “good” players really wants to play.

I am a soccer fan. I lived, breathed, and obsessed over the World Cup. I follow the men’s national team when they play exhibition games on TV. I love the skill and strategy involved. I just haven’t been a MLS fan. It’s just something about the product. I have not found a reason for me to care how teams do. For example, I love the NFL and college football. I’ll be in a catatonic state on weekends after the Super Bowl. It does not mean I’m watching Arena football or NFL Europe in the off season. Something about the MLS has to truly draw in those die hard soccer fans because I am sure there are many just like me.

Will Beckham draw my interest to the MLS? Like a new gadget or toy, it’ll get my interest. I may try and watch a game he’s playing when it’s on television. But I have a feeling I’ll just go back to not being interested enough to watch it.

Listening to sports talk radio is my daily routine as I drive to work each day. Today I heard something truly disturbing. A Michigan fan had called in and said that he was rooting for Ohio State to win against Florida. He almost sounded sad they had lost. Wait…don’t the two hate each other with a passion? Hearing that didn’t cause me to have seizure and crash my car but it got me thinking. His reasoning was he was rooting for the conference to win. It’s not the first time I’ve heard that. Since I’ve been a sports fan, I have never followed that theory.

Ohio State and Michigan are one of the greatest rivalries in college football. Rivialry usually means you cannot stand the other team. You have funny jokes about them. You could lose all your games that season but as long as you beat your main rival, the fans are happy. If I talked to a fan of either team, they could go on and on about how stupid everything is about the other school down to their colors.

So then I do not understand how a Michigan fan can go rah-rah for Ohio State in a national championship game?? I would not want the team I hate the most to have bragging rights over my school when counting national championships. No matter if they’re in the same conference. I don’t want to see the stupid t-shirts. I don’t want to be reminded of it constantly the following season.

For example, I am a Florida Gator fan and not by bandwagon either. I consider our big rivals as Georgia first and Florida State right behind. To some, those really could be interchangable. If either one were playing in the championship game, I’m cheering like I’m seeing two hot girls mud wrestling in jello for them to lose and lose badly. If it’s Georgia, forget keeping the championship in the conference. Making it to the championship game says enough about the conference already. No need to win one more game. I’ve been around Bulldog fans enough to know how obnoxious they are. I do not want bragging come from those tobacco chewing lips, brother and sister kissing lips.

If I want to have the championship stay in the conference and if the Gators don’t do it, I don’t mind if it’s South Carolina, Auburn, Alabama, Vanderbilt, or even a ugly Tennesee team win. They don’t make my blood boil as much. I wouldn’t root for them to win though. I’m not one of those “Do it for the conference!” folks even if it’s a non-rival. In that case, I’m a fan of whoever I have my money on. That’s how I decide.

Keeping the championship in the conference is a great thing if it’s your team. Don’t have satisfaction to see your most hated rival have all the glory. Don’t root for them. You might as well just switch teams cause you’d be considered a traitor. If anything, you can take some solace in poking fun at the fact that they didn’t win.